


healing time

by chansbang



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: A little angst, Fluff, based on aussie line vlog, chan is kinda sad, they are cute and call each other their home, they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:46:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26114389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chansbang/pseuds/chansbang
Summary: They took this walk almost every day together, but today, Felix felt like there was something wrong with Chan.i.e., Felix comforts Chan at the Han River and they are very cute, and awkward, and call each other their home.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 8
Kudos: 158





	healing time

It wasn't unusual.

Felix had gotten used to their excursions, sometimes to Namsan, sometimes to the Han River, sometimes just walking to the convenience store outside the JYPE building. These were little flashes of time that weren't occupied by vocal or dancing lessons, shouting at the screen when Jisung beat him in MarioKart, or desperately trying to fall asleep before a 5AM schedule. Simply, it was time that he relaxed, and it was with _Chan_.

"There's a lot of couples out today," the older man remarked. Felix looked back at him, and he was disappointed with the fact he could only distinguish half of his face due to the mask covering the rest of it. There were plenty of horrible things that came with a pandemic, and not seeing Chan's face when they were outside on their walks was definitely one of them.

"Yeah, I guess so," Felix replied, watching all of the couples sit together by the water. Some were eating, some were drinking maybe _a little too much_ , some were even arguing. Despite the multitude of things going on, with some relationships breaking and others blossoming, it was quiet. It filtered as white noise, and it was more calming than the white noise machine that Minho had paid hundreds of dollars for could ever be. Surely, it had something to do with his current proximity to the other member. It was home.

Chan was undoubtedly a warm person. The other members could see it, the fans could see it, _hell,_ the JYP staff probably even saw it, with the way they swooned over him slightly when he had his back turned. He was full of life, constantly greeting and befriending everyone he saw, putting all of his being into what he did. He cared for the fans, people he had never even _met before_ , but spent hours on livestreams comforting them and giving them advice. Behind closed doors, Chan did the same for the members, too. Encouragement was maybe a bit of understatement with how Chan helped them develop their own skills and talents, all the while feverishly producing, working, networking. Oddly, it was only after Felix had latched onto him during the first few months at the company that he had began to get intimidated.

He could see that it was impossible to be so open and motivated all the time, and Felix even knew this himself from his own experiences. But it was the way that Chan would falter to smile when greeting his members early in the morning after spending hours in the studio, it was the way that he sometimes failed to laugh at the member's jokes, but when anybody noticed, he managed to put forth a small smile. It was the way he'd be hard on Felix for not having the confidence that would allow him to succeed, but then ask him to a meal later that day. He was tired often, yet he still put so much forward in order to ensure the happiness and comfort of everyone around him. It was not only admirable, but fascinating. 

The members also noted before that Chan's relationship with Felix was a little different. They'd say he was by far the toughest on him, and Felix couldn't disagree. However, Chan's frustration was never red, hot anger. It was never anger that was followed by shouting, or yelling, or obscenities. It was disappointment. Exhaustion. Quickly, Felix had been able to gather that a lot of Chan's "tough love" approach stemmed from his own fear of being unable to help. In the times that Chan had noticeably pushed him far, Felix could see a glint of fear in his eyes. It was never _I'm angry you're not doing better_ , but instead _please do better, please, I want you to do better_.

"Healing time," Chan mused. Felix's introspection had been interrupted, and as he turned to look at the older, he could tell something was a bit off. It was the same exhaustion that he had seen mirrored in times of frustration. It twisted Felix's heart a bit to see the warmth that he had so strongly associated with Chan torn from him. 

"We're an Aussie couple!" Felix giggled, walking a bit into Chan's side to attempt to shake him from whatever hole he was going down.

"Yeah, yeah, I suppose we are. Aussie couple," Chan laughed, and Felix had desperately wished he could see the bright smile under his mask.

"Do you want to get food?" Felix asked, stopping in the middle of the path they'd been walking on beside the river, already turning and looking around for the closest tteokbokki stall. He'd figured he'd pay too, but he'd have to be super quick about getting his card. It was always a little competition between them to see who could manage their credit card first into the card reader. It often earned a bit of a weird stare from the vendor, but the laughs and fiery touches Felix felt on his skin from the game made him feel way too good to care.

"Ah, actually, I'm not that hungry. You can still get something, though. I'll —" 

"No, it's okay. Do you wanna sit down?" Felix interrupted him before he could even make the offer.

"Yeah," Chan had exhaled like he had been holding in his breath for an hour. The drop in his expression had worried Felix a bit, too.

They sat down on a bench that was a bit farther away from the others, just as always. Even though they were in public, at one of the most crowded places on a Friday night, it still felt like they were secluded. Alone with just each other, the way they both felt most content with.

"Is something bothering you?" Felix asked, crossing his arms and staring towards the horizon of the Seoul skyline. It was a pretty night, mostly clear, he could point out a ton of stars and he was sure that if he had asked, Chan could point out some planets, too. He had a fascination with the night sky that was quite endearing. Felix figured he was a famous astronomer or astrophysicist in another life.

"A little," Chan mumbled. Felix knew he got a bit shy, didn't really enjoy being stared at, so while he was sure the look on Chan's face would be extremely telling, he continued to stare at the sky and the skyscrapers.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know. There's a few things," Chan answered. It was both an answer and a deflection at the same time. Not really uncommon for him.

"Do you just feel sad? 'Cos I get it. It's been weird lately," Felix replied, dropping his face to stare down at his shoes instead. It had grown silent for a while, but it wasn't suffocating, or uncomfortable, or unprecedented. It was a silence that really clarified what _they_ were. It was the quiet atmosphere when your mom had taken a nap at 3pm, and there was nobody in the house, and not a single sound being made except for the faint whirring of a lawn-mower down the street or bubbling of a kettle. It felt like when Felix would come back to the dorms early to escape a bit of the chaos that ensued in their practices, and when he would flop down onto the couch and swim in the soothing, empty silence. It didn't feel amazing or incredible, but it felt fine. Like things would be alright, if they just sat in this silence forever, and soaked up each other's presence.

"Berry's really sick. My parents don't know if she'll make it," Chan had murmured.

The slight waver in his voice made Felix's head turn sharply, and Chan had dipped his head, so that his dark, curly hair had been covering his eyes a bit. There was no doubt he'd been tearing up, and if Chan's demeanor had upset Felix earlier, he felt a strong pang in his heart at the situation unfolding before him.

"Chan-hyung," he called out, hoping the older would meet his eyes. To no avail, Chan kept staring downward, fiddling with his fingers. He knew that Chan didn't like to be coddled or smothered in moments of high stress; however, Felix felt his body being irrevocably drawn to him like a magnet. He scooted closer, lightly put his head on his shoulder, and intertwined his hand with one of Chan's in his lap.

"It's okay, Chan-hyung. Berry is so strong and a good dog. She'll be okay. And if not, it'll be okay, too," Felix responded. He felt a bit embarrassed about how he didn't sound the most sophisticated, but Chan would never mind. He felt Chan nod against his head, and he turned, seeing that Chan didn't quite look as on edge. 

"Sometimes," Chan had paused, this time his voice a little less shaky, "I wish I was back in Australia. Do you think I would've still met you?"

The question left Felix a little breathless. He had never really heard Chan seem so doubtful, but when it came to Australia, and his family, and his Berry, he wasn't really surprised. But Chan was asking about _him_?

"I don't know, hyung. You're kinda old," Felix giggled. Chan hit their folded hands lightly.

"Hey! I'm only three years older. It's not like I'm an _ahjussi_ , okay?" Chan retorted, and his energy felt a bit lighter. And Felix felt a bit warmer.

"Maybe you would have," Felix answered, shrugging slightly.

"I hope I would've," Chan added. "But I'm glad, I.. you know."

"You what?" Felix had pushed, smiling a bit when he realized Chan's ears went a bit red, and he was turning away, a bit. He really got so _shy_ , so often.

"I'm glad I did meet you. Because even if I'm not in Australia, 'still feels like I'm home," Chan mumbled, the last part a little more quietly. Felix erupted into a fit of giggles, to which Chan immediately started protesting.

"Hyung! That's so sweet! You're so cute!"

"No, no, no —"

"I'm serious! Like, you're so cheesy!" Felix was moving their hands about, and Chan was sitting there idly, muttering under his breath.

"Felix, I swear, I —"

"Really, you're amazing," Felix had stated, albeit, it was not quite voluntary. The last part slipped out a bit and he couldn't help but also feel a bit shy, feeling his ears heat up slightly as well; however, the stylists had sticked with a long haircut lately that covered the evidence. Chan had hesitated a bit too, but smiled softly at him. 

"You're amazing, too. Thank you," Chan responded, his gaze lingering maybe a little too long. He quickly stood up, pulling Felix up with him. "Let's go home before the kids think we've gotten murdered." Felix looked down at their hands, still tightly intertwined, hanging by their sides. Chan clearly wasn't fazed but Felix flew into a flurry of doubt about the whole thing quickly — _maybe he just forgot, or something, there's no way he probably wants to keep doing this._

"Um, are we gonna hold hands on the way back, too?" Felix joked in a bit of a scoff, but there was a certain lilt to his voice that Chan noticed, and it made the older grab his hand even more tightly than before.

"If you want to, it's okay, sunshine boy." Felix almost definitely melted.

"If I can't call you cute, don't call me that," Felix positively whined as they turned around and started to head back, facing away from the mass of couples, the river, the backdrop of the skyline, and the smell of hot street food.

"Okay, fine. You can call me cute, and I'll still call you sunshine," Chan prodded, bumping into Felix purposefully and obviously feeling quite satisfied with the mess he had made Felix. The younger pouted, in the way that the other members would fawn over him for. 

"By the way, you make me feel like I'm at home, too."

When Chan's ears went red again, he knew he'd won.

**Author's Note:**

> hellooooo
> 
> i hope you enjoyed! i haven't written a fic in.. years and i've been really stressed lately because of school, so i decided to just write some self-indulgent chanlix fluff  
> please comment and let me know what you think! :)
> 
> \+ just wanted to add im going to be cross-posting this on tumblr: my user is chan1ix on there! ♡


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